


I do not experience emotions

by girlsinthestars



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-09 22:34:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17413796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlsinthestars/pseuds/girlsinthestars
Summary: Having realised his feelings for Data, Geordi is beginning to find Data's constant reminders that he doesn't experience emotions a bit painful, especially because he doesn't think that's entirely true.





	I do not experience emotions

It was one of the first things Data told everyone, and one of the most common things he reminded them of. Data said he didn’t feel emotions. And that never bothered Geordi, Data was his best friend, whether Data could feel things or not. But Geordi was beginning to notice his own feelings. Data complimented him and his heart fluttered, Data was in danger and he felt like his world was crashing around him, Data spoke endlessly about one topic or another and Geordi wanted to listen forever. It was insane how quickly he fell for Data, or maybe he had fallen slowly, a long time ago, and he was only just now realising. Either way it was going nowhere. Data’s continuous reminders that he didn’t have emotions made sure he didn’t forget that. Here’s the thing though, he knew Data, and he knew that although Data didn’t experience emotions the way people did, Data often experienced his reactions that often couldn’t be described as anything other than emotional. Geordi believed Data was capable of returning his feelings, in his own way, but Data never gave any indication he believed he was anything other than emotionless. 

“You excited for this new program? It’s meant to be the most difficult mystery program created.” Geordi was walking behind Data, heading for the holodeck. He had decided to put his newly discovered feelings behind him. Well… to try at least. Because he valued Data’s friendship, and while he knew that Data probably wouldn’t hold it against him, he wasn’t ready to test that. So he was going about business as usual.

“I do not feel excitement, Geordi.” Data responded. And for the tenth time that week Geordi’s ‘business as usual’ approach failed on him as he stopped in his tracks. He hated that a simple statement that had never bothered him, that he had always thought of as yet another funny quirk of Data’s, suddenly made him feel like he had no chance for happiness ever.

“Geordi?” Data was looking at him, tilting his head.

“Nothing, sorry, I just got distracted for a second.”

“That has been happening a lot lately, perhaps you should speak to Dr Crusher.”

“No it’s- it’s nothing Data, don’t worry.”

“I do not feel worry-”

Geordi sighed and interrupted Data. “Well, it doesn’t matter, so forget about it.” He walked past Data and into the holodeck.

Data followed him. “Geordi, I sense that there is something you are not telling me.”

“It’s nothing Data, let’s just start this program.”

“I have been told it is healthy for humans to talk about how they feel.”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” Geordi said, putting in the program.

“I do not have any reference for this situation, however, as I consider you my closest friend, and I have been under the impression you consider me in the same regard, I believe the phrase ‘if you cannot tell me, who can you tell’ applies.”

“I do consider you my closest friend, Data, this just isn’t something I want to talk about. With anyone.”

The program started up and Data finally dropped the subject. Geordi had no misconceptions that Data would simply forget the encounter, with Data’s memory banks that wasn’t possible, but he kind of assumed that Data wouldn’t bring it up again. He was wrong.

He was just falling asleep when his door chimed. And on the other side of the door was Data, who seemed surprised to find a half asleep Geordi, despite the hour.

“Geordi, my apologies, you were asleep.”

“Just getting there, come on in.” Geordi said, stepping back from the door, “What’s got you up at this hour?”

“I do not require-” Data began, following Geordi into his quarters.

“Yeah, I know, you don’t require sleep, I mean what’s got you wandering around at this hour.”

“I was not wandering, I came here directly from my quarters.”

“Alright, well, what’s up, Data?” Geordi sat down on the couch, gesturing to the seat across from him.

“It concerns our discussion earlier today, the topic you did not wish to discuss.”

“Data…”

“I am aware you do not want to talk about it, however, I have been unable to turn my attention away from it. I believe I have found the common factor, but it has brought me no answers, so I come to you.” There Data paused, looking over at Geordi, seeking some kind of encouragement.

Geordi nodded, unsure of what to say, Data was his friend, and he felt bad that he had him worrying like this. But at the same time Geordi really didn’t feel like going through this whole discussion with Data at this hour.

“The only common factor I can find is my statements relating to my emotionless state, however, I can find no evidence of this same reaction prior to the last month. I am, therefore, baffled. I cannot find a situational change that could have caused this and can only deduce that it is a change in your feelings toward me.” Data paused again, and Geordi forced himself not to react. “I fear that I have done something to offend you, but I cannot think what, and I ask that you enlighten me.”

Geordi hated that he had made Data think he had done something wrong, but he didn’t know what to tell him. To tell him the truth, that he had managed to fall head over heels in love with Data and the constant reminders that Data didn’t think he could never return those feelings were killing him, seemed… Harsh. He didn’t want Data to feel like he had to hide that part of himself from Geordi in order to save Geordi’s feelings.

“You haven’t done anything wrong, Data, it’s just something I’m dealing with, I don’t want you to worry."

“I do not-” Data began, then seemed to change his mind, “I care for you Geordi, and I do not like to see you upset.”

Geordi smiled at that. “I appreciate that, Data.”

Data nodded, and sat silently for a moment. “I do not want to pry but… Geordi, has something happened that made you uncomfortable with my lack of emotions? Can I help?”

Geordi sighed, he really wasn’t in the mood to argue with Data about whether he had his own version of feelings or not, but he couldn’t stand to leave Data in this state, convinced he had done something wrong that made Geordi hate an inherent part of his person. And now that Data had made the connection, there was really no reason for Geordi to keep it a secret. Other than the fact that he was terrified it would change the way Data thought about him and along with it, the way Data acted around him.

“Nothing happened Data, I just… I realised something… about how I feel about you.” Geordi looked over at Data, but his face was as expressionless as ever. “I like you, Data.”

Data was silent for a moment, his head tilting slightly as he considered the statement. Trying to decipher the contextual meaning, Geordi supposed. Then his head straightened up and his eyes focused on Geordi again. “I see, you wish to pursue a romantic relationship.”

“No, I... I mean yeah, but I know, you always say you aren’t capable of that.”

“I have never said that.”

“Yeah you have! ‘I am not capable of emotions, Geordi.’ You said that.”

“That is true, however, I was under the impression human relationships put more value on continued dedication to-.” Data started, pausing when Geordi walked to the other side of the room. “Geordi?”

“They do, but Data there is a level of emotion to that kind of relationship, a level I believe you are capable of.”

“I do not experience-”

“I know Data, but you can understand the emotional reactions a situation induces, there’s not much difference between that and actually experiencing it.”

Data opened his mouth to reply, but Geordi continued before he could. “And there’s more: Dr Crusher told me once that when I was in danger, you became more ‘motivated’ to solve the problem; when Tasha died you missed her, you saved artefacts that reminded you of her; even little things, you remember that time you lost a game to a Zakdornian? Troi said you sulked for a whole day, you were filled with self-doubt, convinced that you would make another mistake; and when you realised the exocomp was alive? You were disappointed when it seemingly failed the test and retested it multiple times. Those are feelings, Data, perhaps they aren’t processed and experienced the same way others on the ship feel them but that is what they are. Just because they are formed as circuitry reactions does not make them any less real.”

Data tilted his head. “I do see where you are coming from, however, I do not want to ‘lead you on’, as it were, Geordi. I am not capable of returning your feelings.”

Geordi stepped forward, into Data’s space, resting a hand on his arm. “I know that Data, that’s not what I’m saying, I’m saying you are capable of a romantic relationship because you have the same reactions as someone who could return my feelings, you just don’t experience the feelings themselves. Besides, I like you for you, not some pretend emotional version.”

Data nodded. “I must admit, I find your company preferable to others. If I were going to have a successful romantic relationship with anyone, it would be you.”

Geordi sighed and stepped back. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pressure you. Of course it’s up to you whether you think you can be in a relationship.”

“You… love me?” Data asked after a moment.

“I- I guess, yeah.”

“You are aware that I am not capable of a ‘normal’ human relationship?”

“Yeah, well I’ve never been very good at normal human relationships.”

“You are aware that I do not possess emotions and therefore cannot return your feelings the way a person could?”

“You can in your own way though.”

“That is not what I asked.”

“Yeah.”

“And in spite of that, you love me?”

Geordi smiled, in Data’s own way he was self-conscious, afraid of being rejected. “Yeah.”

“I am afraid I do not understand. There are over a thousand people on this ship, I am not the logical choice for your affections.”

“These things are rarely logical, Data.”

“You are not concerned that I will not be able to fulfil your relationship requirements?”

“No, Data, are you?”

“I do not feel concern, however, I do not wish you to regret this decision.” Data paused, tilting his head. “I see what you were referring to, although I state that I do not experience the emotional state, which is true, I present the reaction a human would have as a result of the emotional state.”

“I won’t regret it, Data.”

Data was silent, as if he didn’t know where to go from there, and honestly, neither did Geordi.

“It is late, you require sleep.” Data finally said, turning to leave.

“Wait!” Geordi said, his hand grabbing Data’s arm before he could think about it. “Kiss me goodnight?”

“Do you wish me to begin running my romantic relations program now?”

Geordi frowned. “The program you wrote for Lieutenant D’sora?”

“I did not write it for her, I wrote it for the purpose of enabling me to recreate human behaviour in a romantic relationship.”

“What if you didn’t use a program? Just be you.”

Data considered him. “I do not know how that would work.”

“Look Data, I don’t want you to be someone else, I don’t want you to try to recreate human behaviour in a romantic relationship, see a romantic relationship isn’t a completely different input, I like to think of it more as… an extension of friendship.”

“I see.”

Geordi expected Data to say something else but he didn’t, he just stood there considering Geordi. Then his head shifted and he looked met Geordi’s gaze.

“I have moved my friendship subroutine for you into its own program in order to allow the space for protocols relating to our new relationship. I will kiss you now.”

Geordi laughed as Data gripped his arms and leaned forward. “Wait, Data, just relax.” He moved Data’s hands off his arms, moving one to his waist and dropping the other, wrapping his own arms around Data’s neck. “Close your eyes, just let it happen.”

Kissing Data wasn’t magical. But, honestly, Geordi had never had a magical kiss, and this was by far the best kiss he’d had. Maybe because it was Data, maybe because he wasn’t worried Data was going to make and excuse and abandon him in his carefully crafted holodeck program immediately after, either way it was good.

“I believe I… enjoyed that.” Data said, once they pulled back.

“Yeah, I did too.” Geordi’s voice sounded ridiculously soft to him, but he didn’t think Data would mind. “Dinner tomorrow night? My quarters?”

“Dinner is a customary first date. I will be there.”

“I’ll see you then.”

Data nodded and turned to leave, but hesitated, turning back around again and pressing a kiss to Geordi’s cheek. “Goodnight, Geordi.”

“Night Data.”

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who finally finished a daforge fic (totally haven't had 6 different wip for them sitting in my docs for over a year). I've just always believed Data had his own versions of emotions, maybe he doesn't experience them the way people do but they're definitely there, there are multiple instances where he reacts to situations in a way that implies he is driven by some form of emotion. Anyway I hope you enjoyed, in theory there will be more coming soon.
> 
> Find me on tumblr @girlsinthestars


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